Why Kids Need Self Confidence

Written by A. Simon

Copyright - Minnesota Kid’s Yoga Co. LLC

we all need it, but why is it so important…

I recently came across a quote by Mark Victor Hanson, the author and founder of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series. He just so happens to also be a motivational speaker! His quote stated,

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

Therefore, my interpretation of this quote is simple — the more confidence we have in ourselves, the more success, happiness, and resilience we obtain. Also, in regards to children, the more confidence they have, the better son/daughter, student, friend, athlete, musician, speaker, scientists, builder, employee, and professional they become. When kids lack confidence in their abilities, it is increasingly harder to believe in themself. When kids don’t believe in themself, it can become a spiral of sadness and unfulfilled potential. Lastly, when a child doesn’t have self-love they can feel lost, anxious, and can struggle to find personal dreams.

What is self-confidence?

As I sat and reflected on the above quote, it occurred to me that many kids often struggle to get started on tasks that are “hard” or “uncomfortable.” Why? Partially because of the fear of the unknown, and partially because of the fear of failure. Kids, now days, are put under extreme stressors, and are expected to behave amidst the stress. Further, kids spend less time with their parents, and more time with people who expect a lot from them (ex. teachers, coaches, child-care supervisors, tutors, etc.). Lastly, kids are constantly being compared to one another, which sends the message that you need to be the best.

Self-confidence is built. Further, self-confidence is created from multiple experiences, it’s not a quality people are born with instantly. That said, kids need more opportunities where they can feel success and personal achievement. They need to be shown they are special, worthy, and “good enough” so that they can build confidence, and shine with it!

Psychology Today states that there are five main reasons people have low self-esteem in today’s world. These include reasons such as: bullying, trauma, parenting styles, social media, and genetics. Further, they state that many people never learn the rules behind self-confidence. Two rules include, 1) acting confident even when one doesn’t feel confident; and, 2) not expecting perfection from oneself.

PsychCentral.com states that many kids who struggle with self-confidence and low self-esteem internalize struggles or failures, whereas, kids that naturally have more confidence accept failure as momentary, and can easily move on from an experience, learn from it, and continue to look at life in a positive way.

How do we get it?

Therefore, how do we as teachers, parents, and/or mentors help kids become more confident?!

VeryWellMind.com states five easy ways to help kids find self-confidence. These include: 1) less comparing, 2) healthy habits, 3) self-compassion, 4) embracing doubt, and 5) challenge negative self-talk. I think adding an additional sixth and seventh idea of 6) practicing mindfulness, and 7) affirmations, are also equally important!

Why do kids need self confidence?

So… to answer the initial question of, why kids need confidence, I’ll define this answer in two ways. First, kids are faced with more challenges then ever before. Between social media pressures, drugs, bullying, test scores, education goals, debts, and competitive job applications — kids need to believe in themselves in order to navigate life.

Second, in a world that easily finds negatives, rather than positives, (cue any nightly news station) kids need to be confident that they can be a good person in a crazy, scary world.

In conclusion, help your child love themself. Yoga classes and mindfulness sessions are a perfect way to start that! Kids need reminders that they are loved through positive affirmations from people they trust! Talk with your kids about self-love, and make sure they know they are important, and wonderfully unique!